was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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