Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
