operation harelip BJ is a go
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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