we're blogging at a bar
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize