I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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