she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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