I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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