ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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