The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
