This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
