Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so that wasnt chicken after all
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
