It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
