Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
