i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
