She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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