real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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