The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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