Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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