Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i would punch a child for taco bell
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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