just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
