Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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