how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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