I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
