We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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