My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
