There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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