You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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