so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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