I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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