hotel room ftw
he was CRYING into my vagina
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Drake has all the answers
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
