Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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