Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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