uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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