Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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