I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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