I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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