So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
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He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
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Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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