if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
