windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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