How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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