Screwed.edu
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
