woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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