it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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