Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
