Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she looked like the before picture.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
