That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
