I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize