if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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