You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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