If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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