she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
