Dual....:-)
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
