Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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