If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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