I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
