She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
