no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
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no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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