I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
