Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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