This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
