So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
