Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
