it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
