ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
