i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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