haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
another moral hangover. fuck.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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