You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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